50 Facts

So this year I turned 50. A number of my friends did that ’50 before 50’ thing, but I realised that I have no desire to run a marathon or skydive or do any of the things that are usually on those lists. I also realised that I have done some pretty interesting things in my life by virtue of my career as a journalist and my obsession with all things spiritual. So I wrote out a list of 50 facts about my life that warrant commenting on. I was going to put up a whole post about the list, but realised it would run to thousands of words in order to do it justice, so I have decided to put up a post a week which explains each of the facts in more detail. Below are the facts to intrigue you and if you come back every once in a while, you’ll find another one explained.

  1. I was buried alive in Sussex woodland.
  2. I have snorkelled in the Great Barrier Reef.
  3. I fished in a crocodile-filled river in the Outback.
  4. I rode a horse over a sand beach and through surf in Aruba.
  5. I yelled “bloody footballers” at the entire Arsenal football team including Arsene Wenger as they filed past me.
  6. I visited Scotland’s highest whisky distillery (Dalwhinnie).
  7. I dined at the Hotel du Marc (Vevue Clicquot’s private hospitality venue for press and VIPs).
  8. I chaired the Quality Drink Awards and kept scary Masters of Wine and Spirits judges in line.
  9. I have abseiled 100ft down the Holiday Inn in Brent Cross.
  10. I have taken part in ayahuasca and san pedro ceremonies.
  11. I am a child refugee whose father was a political prisoner under the military dictatorship of Pakistan’s Zia Ul-Haq. 
  12. I walked across two of the highest peaks in Madeira (Pico do Arieiro to Pico Ruivo).
  13. I was filmed for the Most Haunted tv show as part of an overnight live ghost hunt at Dudley Castle.
  14.  I went on an overnight ghost hunt at Tissington Hall in Derbyshire.
  15.  I got close to experiencing ghostly activity in Clapham Woods, Sussex.
  16.  I got properly scared by ghosts at the White Hart hotel in Lincoln.
  17.  I have spoken to psychic horses.
  18.  I surfed over coral reef in the Maldives.
  19.  I was belly dance correspondent for Dance Today magazine.
  20. I was booze correspondent for one summer at Metro newspaper.
  21.  I did a show in which I was Melinda Messenger’s ‘what the papers say’ expert.
  22.  I lived in a house owned by the Stone Roses’ guitarist, Aziz Ibrahim.
  23.  I propped up a drunk Colin Wilson at a party.
  24. I have been enchanted at the Magic Circle.
  25.  I interviewed Theodore Zeldin at his art deco home in Oxford.
  26.  I mistook Russell Kane for Nick Grimshaw at a party.
  27.  I have done stand-up comedy.
  28. I was an extra on Eastenders as a child.
  29.  I smoked pot in the pyramid room of the William Westerfield House in San Francisco.
  30.  I walked on the bottom of the Caribbean sea wearing a stupid Sea Trek diving helmet.
  31.  I made my own shamanic drum.
  32.  I spoke to fairy spirits in English woodland.
  33.  I had a hay bath in Austria.
  34.  I mustered cattle in a helicopter.
  35.  I took a flight in a Cessna with just me and the pilot.
  36.  I have been on a 1925 steam locomotive in Portugal.
  37.  I had a handfasting at the foot of Pendle hill at Pendle Witch Camp.
  38. I have visited the shrines of every major Sufi saint in Pakistan.
  39. I dusted two human skulls on a Vodou altar (not my altar and all perfectly legal).
  40. I saw three shooting stars in one night in the Southern hemisphere.
  41. I got stung by a jellyfish. (No, that cure doesn’t work.)
  42. I got bit by a dog. It looked like this.
  43. I got bit by a rabbit. It looked like this.
  44. I got clawed by a cat. It looked like this.
  45. I have no pets.
  46. I did an interview with the American counter-culture author Tom Robbins that was cited in a PhD and in the author’s own anthology of interviews.
  47.  I saw Dropkick Murphys on St Patrick’s Day in Dublin.
  48. King Arthur offered to knight me in a pub in Bloomsbury but I turned him down.
  49. I have led guided meditation sessions for stressed publishing folks.
  50. Had 8 employers in between over a decade of working for myself – stayed at Arcturus the longest at more than five years.